Long time, no chat

This summer has been crazy busy but now I have a moment to breathe. June was moving and getting settled; July was lots of Mary Kay, finishing summer school, and going to Dallas for seminar; now August I have no school until the 29th and I am caught up at work.

Any of you who know me will not be surprised that I have changed my mind (again!). I am going to finish school. I have thought about it and talked it over with Todd a bunch and feel strongly that I must see my master's degree through to the finish and see what happens. My ultimate goal is to teach accounting at the university level. It has been a vision of mine for some time now to teach. If I don't see this vision thru, I will drive myself crazy wondering "what if".

I am still working my Mary Kay business but it will be where I can fit it in. I am going to my MK meeting tonight and taking two guests with me...it should be fun!

Reading a book called The God Delusion - interesting so far...will have to see if I keep reading it. The author is an atheist and since I've always been a bit on the fence about God myself, I thought I should see what he has to say.

What is up now?

It has been a while since last I wrote. I was busy with getting ready for our move and then this last week has been unpacking boxes, getting a new driver's license, doctor for Kate, etc. The move itself was kind of long (lots of driving) but it went well. Kate was a real trooper for all the time she spent in her car seat. On day 2 of driving, we actually ate our lunch sitting on our stuff in the back of the U-haul truck in a rest area.

The apartment is great. It was very clean and new carpet. The neighbors are friendly and Kate has been making friends at the pool. Our area is full of anything you could want - two big convenient grocery stores, preschool for Kate, hair salon, nail place, and just a short drive to lots of restaurants and shopping. All my favorite things! Best of all Grandma is about 30 mins away - she will watch Kate for us this Sunday. Todd and I are going to actually get out and (woohoo) we don't have to pay a babysitter. I hope to find a nice high school girl soon to watch Kate most of the time but it is nice to have mom if we need her.

Other news - made a decision recently to ramp up my Mary Kay business again. I feel very strongly that I need to give it another shot. I would really like to earn the use of a free MK car. That would be very cool. Since I can only handle so many activities, I am taking a year off from school to concentrate on MK. I am keeping my accounting job - MK will be strictly evenings and weekends. This also helps Todd b/c he is ready to go back to school for some retraining and we can't both be in school at the same time.

Kate's first day at her new preschool, which seems like a great place so far, was Monday. Todd asks her what was her favorite part of the day at the new place. With no hesitation, she answers "eating". How funny is that? I asked her again today and this time she said "playing". I asked what was she playing with and she says "friends". I think she just loves school for all the other little kids. Mom and Dad are great but she really seems to like other people. She introduces herself to strangers, adults and children alike, all the time when we are out.

Holiday getaway, countdown to departure, and much more!

I have so many things floating around in my head that I want to get out. I can't type fast enough or remember them all once I sit down to write. We took a day and half getaway to Panama City Beach since we had an extra day off. We figured we should take Kate to the beach one last time before we leave FL. We may never come back. The next beach I would like to see is in Hawaii. This last 36 hrs was relaxing even though I did not sleep well at the hotel. The room next door was very noisy and Kate was up at 5:40 CST.

We went to Margaritaville restaurant - way TOO noise! Would not recommend to families. Plus our food took about 30 mins to come out - way TOO long when you are with a 3 yr old. However we did go past a Merry Go Round so after we ate Kate had to have a ride. Two things happened to make me upset. First of all, we had to pay for Kate and Todd ($3 each) b/c she is over 3. I told the guy "look she just turned 3 two days ago and will not ride by herself" and he said "too bad, you have to buy 2 tickets". I mean really - he couldn't let that go, not to mention I think parents having to pay at all is ridiculous. It is a kiddie ride for crying out loud - do they think parents are trying to put one over on them? Like "woohoo, I fooled them. They thought my kid wants to ride the Merry Go Round but really it is me, the 30 or 40-something". Crazy!

Second thing was small but I thought showed a "great" example of our viewpoint in this country. A man in his 30s who was there with his wife and about 2 yr old daughter actually said the following (mind you we are in a totally public area - nothing belongs to anyone) - "Man, that really pisses me off. That old lady is going to take my seat." I look around to see what he could possibly be talking about. There is a nearby bench for onlookers to watch and wait for kids on the ride. His wife and daughter were on the ride and he had to get his lazy ass off the bench to come get his wife's purse. In the meanwhile, the "old lady" (who I am sure was viciously waiting in the wings for him to move) sat down on the bench. Mind you the bench had room for at least 2 people anyway. I could not believe it - this just blew me away. First of all, it wasn't his bench and why on earth should he be angry b/c someone else sat down. Second of all, he should have gotten up to give his seat to someone older and female in the first damn place. This is the kind of guy who would make a pregnant lady stand on the bus rather than offer his seat. Hold on folks, this soapbox is almost to the finish line. This kind of "me first, only me" mentality is what has this country all messed up in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, if people thought about others once in a while, this would be a nation at peace instead of at war. Ok, soapbox is put away for now. It is safe to continue reading. :)

Kate. One word, one totally unbelievable topic. She has been really amazing lately. We are working on some behaviors and I am seeing a difference. It is very exciting. Several times now over the last week or so, she says "yes, i will do that moma" when I tell her something such as "put your shoes in your closet" or "put your socks in the hamper". It is so exciting to hear her say "yes" instead of no and then whining if we persist. Now, we still have a ways to go but it is an improvement. Also, getting her to play by herself has been very challenging. We have spoiled her so with all our attention, all the time. Saturday - twice in one day - she played by herself for 45 mins at a time! I was actually able to get some work done while she was awake. It almost felt like a miracle. She was in her room and so quiet at one point, Todd says "what is she doing?" I said "playing I think". I peeked around the corner to see where she couldn't see me and she was playing with her birthday crown and some stickers. It was wonderful.

At first I felt guilty pushing her way to play alone, but I knew it had to be done. Plus I've discovered something. It doesn't matter how much time or attention I give her, she will always want more. In fact the more attention I give, the more she demands. I enjoy her more and I think she me, when we spend a bit less time together. I believe we are all happier.

Final topic, briefly, is our countdown to leaving FL. We are at T minus 10 and counting. It is very exciting. Look out KY, here we come, ready to start over fresh and set the world on fire!

The Painted Pony and other Sunday stuff

For an early birthday celebration we took Kate to The Painted Pony farm in Monticello (see picture). It is just east of Tallahassee. She had a blast. She got 2 pony rides, a hay ride, to play in a big sand pile, to put her handprint in paint on a pony, and ice cream. She came home with a t-shirt and a $3 raffle prize that is a small pony figure that she named Charlie and is currently sleeping with. Next weekend we are going to "really" celebrate her birthday with a cake and presents and a trip to Build-A-Bear to make her own pink unicorn. I can hardly wait - I just know she will love it.

This morning we went to church, like most Sundays. We actually like the Rev. at this Unity Church better than the one we had in Palm Harbor. He is very deep in his topics and talks. He really makes you think - I like it. I just love Unity. If it weren't for Unity, I wouldn't go to any church at all. I feel I am a spiritual person and like to think of what most people call God as an all-compassing universal "power" that is in and around all of us. We are all our own God, in a manner of speaking. God is within each of us, not some being "out there somewhere" to be feared and unknowable. Religion is not the same thing as spiritual. Religions cause war and hate and fear and separate people from one another. Just my two cents for today...

My Mother's Day

We got a sitter and Todd took me out last night - that was my Mother's Day present. We had a nice dinner where we took our time and I didn't have to cut up food for Kate. Then we caught the 8:45 pm showing of Wolverine - got to love Hugh Jackman [especially when he is running off naked :)]. Crazy us - didn't get to bed until almost midnight. Of course, just our luck Kate was up at 5:40 am this morning. Todd got up with her and let me sleep until 8:30 am. After I was up for a bit he went back to bed and I took Kate to WalMart. Now that Kate is in preschool we hardly ever go anywhere together, just the two of us. She used to do all the shopping with me, when I was home all day.

We skipped nap today and took her to the Tallahassee Museum, which is oddly named b/c it was nothing like a museum by my standards. It was more like a nature preserve with a few historical things thrown in. I would like to say it was fun but, for me, it was not really a good time. I am not much of an outdoor person anyway and it was hot today, about 90. We walked around in the heat for almost 3 hrs - I was totally wiped out. It was shady in many places and we sat down for a snack twice but still exhausting for me. Kate had fun - she loved the animals we saw - there was a bald eagle, panther, snakes, and farm animals.

Sweetie Belle has arrived

Sweetie Belle is Kate's reward for staying in bed at night, after lights out and we leave. Kate had to earn 10 stars on her "staying in bed" chart to earn Sweetie Belle, a My Little Pony 'doll'. Last night was star #10 - yay! After those couple of awful weeks, bedtime has improved. Kate actually seems tired and with not much fan-fair goes right to sleep. Thank God!! Not totally sure about her naps at school but from what I can gather, she is only napping about an hour to an hour and a half.

Other news - my mom is scouting out apartments for us. We sent her info on several places and she is going to see each one and reporting back. So far, so good. We sold our car yesterday - very exciting (and a bit scary). I figure other people live with only one car and we can too. Growing up we had only one car for at least the first seven years of my life.

We've given notice to Kate's preschool that we are leaving. They seem to think we are going to keep paying them until they find another child to fill her spot. This is their "policy". Like I told Todd and my mom, they can just come on up to KY and try to collect that tuition money. :) I can't wait to get her out of that school. Yesterday she came home with sand on her face, including all around her eyes, b/c one of the other kids threw sand in her face. I do not get these children - we never had issues like this at New Horizons. We will be very careful about her next preschool in KY.

Updates...

Kate was home early from school on Friday - woke up from her nap and had exploding diarrhea. Feel sorry for her teacher. I managed to get everything clean again except the underwear - it went straight in the trash. Todd went and picked her up - she had a fever for about 24 hrs and was more tired this weekend but is now feeling much better. Due to sleepiness from illness, she went to sleep very easily Friday night and a good nap on Saturday. Saturday night only got up twice and then was asleep. Sunday - refused to nap - but...Ta-da Sunday night after 10 mins of rocking went right to bed, did not get up once, and fell right to sleep. She was up at 6 am this morning - feeling good and ready to go. And she slept all night too - no getting up during the night. Todd feels very strongly that we are headed towards no more napping at all. I realize she is about to be 3 but I thought she would continue to nap for at least 6 more months or so. O'well - no napping isn't the worst thing - especially if she sleeps well at night.

On the move - we are making progress in the "selling our stuff" department. We've gotten rid of our patio furniture and lawn equipment - definitely won't need those in an apartment. Still working on selling the car. We may not be able to get the true value out of it and if that is the case, then it isn't worth selling. We will have to see. We've picked out five apartment complexes to have my mom go look at. They are all in KY. We feel the KY side has more to offer and prices are cheaper than OH. Several Internet city to city comparison websites have said we will pay 10% less for groceries in OH/KY than we do here in FL. Plus KY has lower taxes on gas, etc. than OH.

PS. This picture is Kate about two weeks ago, helping Daddy make playdough. She looks so grown up.

No sleep again...

Well unfortunately we only had the one really successful night. After that it was back to the issues. Last night it took her an hour to go to sleep and Todd sat with her the whole time. Tonight was the topper - she just fell asleep about 15 mins ago at 9:45 pm!! We first put her in bed at 7:30 pm. We don't know what the deal is but I am starting to think there is something really wrong with Kate. We've never had sleep issues this bad, for this long, ever before. Tonight I even tried letting her play by herself with the little light on. I just told her not to leave her room - that didn't work either. I can understand she wants one of us to be in there but that is not getting her to sleep either. She tosses and turns and kicks the covers off repeatedly.

Her school has said she naps about an hour and half on average while at school and I know she is very active while she is there. So lack of sleep and lack of activity, which can sometimes cause bedtime issues, are not the problem. We've been in the new house for a month now and the sleep issues have gotten worse, not better, so the moving thing doesn't seem to be the problem. I have noticed some comments from her lately that seem to show more understanding on her part that Palm Harbor is gone and we don't live there anymore.

We really miss her old preschool, New Horizons. The children were nicer and Kate was loved by all her classmates. When we dropped her off in the morning, the other kids would smother her with affection. They were always excited to see Kate. At her new school, sometimes the other little girls tell her to "get away" and "leave me alone". I think it hurts her feelings. The other day one little boy hit her in the face with a plastic toy (he was talked to) and it left a bruise and scratch on her face. Kate's current preschool was recommended by another preschool director as one of the best in Tallahassee. It seems like the teachers try but for whatever reason some of the children in Kate's class are very bratty. Not sure if there is anything really we can do right now.

Sleep success!!

After many frustrating nights (see earlier blogs), we finally had a successful bedtime last night. WooHOO!! It was Todd's suggestion that we shorten her nap. He truly felt she was just not tired at bedtime. She will be three in less than a month so I thought a shorter nap might work too. So yesterday (Sunday) we only let her nap about an hour and 15 mins, instead of her usual 2 hour nap. She went to bed at 7:30 pm, only got out of bed once, and 'viola' she was asleep at 7:45 pm. Even better, she only got up once last night and slept until 6:45 this morning. Yah!! This morning Todd is going to talk to her preschool about shorten her nap at school b/c they sleep for two hours during the day. I hope they can accommodate us. The school seems pretty flexible.

Going back home

As you know, our family has been through some difficult times as of late. We uprooted our family and moved to Tallahassee to start over, only for Todd's new job to come to a dead-end. Unfortunately our enlightenment came after we moved up here, instead of before. We've now made two decisions: (1) We are never moving to take a job again and (2) We are tired of relocating and starting over so we are going home to Cincy to put down our own family roots. I told Todd and he agreed that before Kate was ready to start kindergarden we had to be settled. I am not uprooting her to move across the state or country every five years when one of us takes a new job. We've made a decision to make OH/KY work no matter what. Jobs come and go but family is forever.

The area is nice - I have lots of family there plus a couple of friends from high school. I know I will enjoy four regular seasons again. I can't wait to see Kate and her first snow! The near-by Smokey Mts will be great for family vacations. We can even drive to our Luna family reunion in MI, instead of flying.

I've thought several times over the past years about moving back but could never take that leap of faith. I was scared to move with no job and then what? I was raised to believe that an income, no matter how crappy the job, was paramount and to be without a job was unthinkable. My parents were totally unconcerned with being happy with their work. It was a paycheck and that is what mattered. Not for me to live like that anymore - life is too short to spend it doing something you dislike. Can't wait until I finish my master's so I can go forth and get my dream job.

In light of these "revelations", we have decided to do some other things we've discussed in the past but never implemented. We are simplifying. For starters, we are selling one of our cars. Right now we just don't need two cars, especially since I work at home and Todd is not working at all (and might end up working from home also). This will rid us of one car payment, the insurance on that car, and net us some additional money to live off until Todd has a new job. Another car can always be bought, if needed. Also, we are selling our huge entertainment center and our loveseat couch. Both are much too heavy to bother bring with us to Cincy and the loveseat was from our pre-Kate days. It is not really a family piece. These are all just 'things' and not really important to our overall goal.

Continuing Bedtime issues

We are trying a new tactic. No helping her get to sleep at all. We realized over the last six months, b/c she was sick so often, we had been doing all sorts of things to help her sleep: rubbing her back; rocking her; sitting on the floor by her bed. I swear to you this child used to go to sleep with no issues. So far things are going very poorly. Last night Todd sat outside her door and she was up and down until 9:30 pm!! And then she was up at 5:50 am this morning. Tonight was my turn to sit outside her door. About 5 mins ago Todd came and relieved me of duty b/c I was threatening to spank her, among other things. It is so awful!! She is not just up and down out of bed, but yells at us to not touch her, leave her alone, pushes us away, etc. You can't put her back in bed unless you force her to lay down. She laughs in your face. She seems to think this is all a big game. Tonight I especially do not understand as she should be exhausted from way too little sleep last night.

I don't know who this child is. Ever since the new preschool she talks back and yells at us. Now all these bedtime issues. This is crazy. I have things to do at night, like school work. I can't sit outside her door for an hour or more, trying to get her to stay in bed. And I refuse to lay down with her or rub her back for 30 mins until she falls asleep - and that is not a guarantee either. She is almost 3 - we should be past this stage.

I am going to go completely crazy if we don't get this problem fixed and quick! Any ideas?

So frustrated with bedtime

I am at my wits' end with Kate and bedtime. I put lights out at 7:20 pm - a little earlier than usual b/c she seemed tired - and here we are at 8 pm and she is still awake and getting up and down out of bed. NOTHING works on this child. I took away her favorite toy, 3 ponies, and her bicycle privileges tomorrow. She doesn't care! I even spanked her butt - something I swore I would never do. She doesn't like it but it didn't keep her in bed. She got right back up. Todd is now sitting in her room to make sure she doesn't get up and he will have to stay until she falls asleep. She was up at 6 am this morning and yesterday morning too. She should be plenty tired. I just want to scream!!!!! And, now with this Jack in the bed syndrome tonight she will either be up in the middle of the night and/or up at 5:15 am tomorrow. I can't live like this! I swear I've tried all the 'solutions' in all the books I've read. Nothing is working. I did everything right, right from the beginning. She was always on a schedule, naps and all. She slept straight thru the night from 9 months on and was a fabulous sleeper until the last 6 months or so. The books said follow a routine - same all the time, teach them to put themselves to sleep, etc. - I did all that. What is wrong?

Saturday - how nice!

Well this morning I ditched my online class (no biggie 'cause I can watch it later) and we took Kate to the Brogan Museum in downtown. It is similar to MOSI in Tampa but not as far away and not nearly as expensive. She had a great time and then we spread a blanket in some green space in front of the museum and had a picnic lunch. She just loves to eat outside! Then we all play "It" for about 15 mins. Then it was time to go home for a nap for Kate and real lunch for mom and dad. She was very well behaved the whole time and even this morning before we left the house. She only yelled at me twice and both times I took Alex (her favorite toy) away for 15 mins. It definitely seemed to work - no more yelling after that.

Supposed to be in the shower right now....

Like every day of my life now, I am supposed to be doing something other than what I am doing. This is b/c I have a ten things each day that need to get done but really only time for about five of them so I am constantly trying to squeeze in activities I want to do (like blog) but don't really have time for. I am supposed to be on a strict schedule in the morning. When Todd leaves to take Kate to preschool, I am supposed to shower and get dressed so I can start my work day at 8:30 am. This is the up and down side to working from home - flexibility and flexibility. It is nice that I can take a quick break while working to drop in a load of laundry but I have to be careful to not do too much of house stuff b/c then my paid work is not getting done. Still not entirely sure I like working from home. There is definitely something to be said for going into an office.

Kate this morning, and most mornings, is getting more difficult to deal with. I keep waiting for this "it gets easier bullsh**" that I keep hearing from moms with older children. When might that be? This morning, just trying to get 2 barrettes in her hair (which insisted she have today), was a 10 min ordeal. She could not decide what color(s) she wanted and kept insisting on 3 or more barrettes. I kept saying she could have 2 and that she only needed two. Oh Lord! And, she says "I'll go ask Daddy" and he tells her she can have 3 barrettes - What? Where am I going to put 3 barrettes at? Finally got her out the door for school with two barrettes in her hair. If it isn't barrettes, it is something else - clothes, shoes, food, drink. She HAS to have this or won't do THAT. Ugh! Also, moms with older children tell you to enjoy this stage - "you will miss these days when she is older" - really? I think they have a faulty memory. I look forward to the day when I can reason with my child and she really understands, even if she doesn't like it.

More changes...

Todd's new job is no more - it was not working out. Without going into great detail, let's just say the owner turned out to be a real ass. Just one example: On Todd's third day of work, the owner says, "by the way, it really pissed me off that you took a lunch on Monday". Monday was his first day on the job. I think that tells you what kind of person he was dealing with.

So, Todd has an opportunity to start his own business, working with former co-workers from AutoMart. He would be putting together a book, doing graphic art work from home. We will need to invest in some special software but other than that, it should be a fairly easy start up.

As for me, I had a large school assignment due yesterday and I managed to get it done. It was not my best work but I don't care anymore. The semester is almost over and I am tired. I've written more crap this semester than when I took "writing" classes. It has been ridiculous. At this point, I figure A or B doesn't really matter. When I go to look for a job with my new CPA license, they are not going to ask my GPA.

I just talked to my mom. On her way home from Tallahassee to Cincy, she experienced what I like to think of as Karma. Her flight from Tally to Atlanta was late getting in and she missed her connecting flight. Then apparently bad weather set in and Delta was grounding all flights til further notice. Turns out Mom didn't get home to Cincy til 3 am - woops. She spent hours in the Altanta airport and was starving. She made Delta give her a voucher for food even though she had 2 credit cards on her. She thought she couldn't use credit cards at Burger King at the airport. Personally I don't think she wanted to ....she doesn't like to use credit cards for much of anything. She is paranoid about fraud.

Feeling sad...

I just realized something, looking around our half painted rental house. Since the age of 16, I've not lived in the same place for more than two years, with one exception, which was my first apartment in Cinti before I moved to Houston. It makes me sad. I am 37 years old and still don't have a home. I mean, my family is 'home' but I would like stability. Todd and I have talked and we agree that this must stop. We have to find a place we want to stay and make it work - no more moving around to take this job and that.

I am tired of emailing all my friends b/c no one lives near me to go for coffee or get dinner. I finally got friends and playmates for Kate in Palm Harbor and then we left. I miss my friends in Palm Harbor and going to the office. I am tired of moving new places and leaving people behind and feeling isolated for a year or more until I get to know some people.

Todd's new job is not working out so good. We are not sure what to do. I can't stand for him to be unhappy and stressed out everyday - it makes me and Kate unhappy too. I want a happy family.

My mother - Ugh!

As I think you know my mom is here, supposedly to help out with Kate, etc. Truthfully she is not much help and sometimes is more of a pain. The whole time she has been here, she has put Kate to bed twice and both were fairly forced on her by us. She has unrealistic expectations of what kind of self-control a two year old has. Mom doesn't want to brush Kate's teeth b/c "I won't fight with her" - Hello? She is 2 - of course she doesn't like having her teeth brushed and is going to protest. She protests to some degree every night - Todd just makes her do it anyway. That is what you do with toddlers - make them do things that are good for them. They are too young to understand consequences - that is why there are parents. It is our job to make them do the right thing, even if you have to force it a bit sometimes. Can't just let her run around eating nothing but cookies and never brushing her teeth, just b/c she complains about it.

In the car today, Kate says "Grandma" and my mom ignores her. She wants the child to have manners, and for 2 yrs old her manners are quite good, but yet she rudely ignores Kate when Kate is trying to talk to her. I said "mom, Kate is calling you" and Mom says "well, she should just say what it is she wants". And another statement to the effect of "she doesn't really have anything to tell me, she is just saying my name to get attention". Hello??? Once again, she is only two and maybe she just wants Grandma's attention on her for a few minutes. My mom routinely ignores Kate - it is very annoying to Todd and I. Mom will complain b/c she says I stop listening to her to talk to Kate. Well, first of all Kate will "mama" about a hundred times in a row if you don't answer her and my mom will also keep talking - do you have an idea how horrible that is? Makes me want to run screaming from the room. We are working on Kate waiting her turn to talk but that is skill for slightly older children. Also, my mom NEVER shuts up. You have to interrupt her to get a word in. Todd took her and Kate to the park and grocery store - by the time they got home over two hours later, he wanted to shoot himself.

Then the kicker tonight at dinner. Kate wanted a piece of bread b/c she saw Todd with some and the kid loves bread. We told her to eat her broccoli and then she could have some bread. She eats 80% of her broccoli and asks for bread again. I say ok and tell Todd to give her a 1/4 of a slice. Mom gets this disapproving look, shakes her head, and says "she sure does eat a lot of carbs. I'm surprised she's not fat." What the F***? Seriously, she is two and growing like a weed. And does she have to say this in front of Kate - does Mom think that Kate can't hear? Today Kate had a fruit smoothie and toast; Cheerios in the car with some raisins; 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich (wheat bread and organic cheese) with carrot sticks; 2 Pretzel sticks from Auntie Ann's at the mall; chicken and broccoli for dinner. Does this sound like the diet of a child who eats poorly? Geez, I know people who feed their children Pop Tarts and cheese puffs.

Ok, I think I can sleep now. Had to get that all out. I can't wait until she leaves!

One week later...

The house is clean - well mostly - the floors are rather a mess b/c it has rained a ton and we've had lots of people in and out. We are seeing dead or half-dead roaches everywhere since the bug man came on Thursday. I know we will need additional treatments.

We went to our first social event today. It was so nice to do something normal. One of Kate's schoolmates had an Easter party - well his parents did. We went out to their house with a bunch of other people. Made a connection with a couple of moms - am looking to get recommendations for doctors, dentist, etc. We are going to need a babysitter too - very important! Todd gave Kate a cupcake with all the frosting on it at the party - Good Lord - her behavior since has been not so good. I couldn't believe he didn't know to take the frosting off.

I have a paper due for school tomorrow - not sure how I am going to pull that off.

Since we arrived...

Oh Lord, so much has happened since the movers showed up on Saturday morning. Let's start with them - said they would arrive between 8 and 10 am. Showed up at 9:45 am - within the window, yes, but still... Took them until 3:30 pm to load the truck - when they showed up the lead guy said they would be finished by 1 pm. No nap for Kate - and HELLO, have you tried to entertain a toddler in a semi-empty house with the moving men there? We finally get on the road to Tallahassee at 4 pm - we arrived at the new house at 10:30 pm to drop the cats off so we can stay at the hotel. The movers are supposed to deliver between 9 and 11 am on Sunday morning. Sunday morning - no phone calls and no movers. They showed up at the house at 1 pm. Thankfully the cleaning lady was there to call us and let us know. The driver had forgotten to bring our cell numbers with him. What, really???

Now, the cleaning lady - there is the best part of this story. When we arrived the house was FILTHY! They were supposed to have cleaned it during the week and had it 'ready to move in' when we arrived. From what I've heard, the tenants before us had 4 or 5 bulldogs in the house/yard plus they smoked. The house reaked of smoke and had roaches too. First thing Sunday morning, we pull out the yellow pages and started calling cleaning services. Finally found someone who could come the same day. She spent six hours on Sunday cleaning and that was only part of the house. We had another cleaning service in (2 people) for another 6 hours today. There is a small amount of cleaning left at this point. We are finally going to really move in tomorrow. We've been staying at the hotel.

We are having issues with our long-distance landlord. He doesn't want to spend the money to completely repaint the house and of course, we paid for the cleaning services out of our pocket. What choice did we have? We left our home in Palm Harbor and Todd started his job today. The moving van was coming - what were we supposed to do? He is asking us to split the cost of painting the inside of the house. They have already treated the walls with a product called Kiln, which is to permanently seal off the smoke smell. The floors are all tile so no issues there. I just don't think that is right - I don't feel we should have to pay for any of this. Not sure if we can do anything about it.

More update later... must get some sleep now.

Found a house..

Todd and I looked at rental houses on Friday afternoon and Saturday. Friday was a dud and we thought "oh, no". But the house options on Saturday were much better and we actually found two we really liked. We decided on the one closer to Todd's new office. After we move in, I will post a photo or two. It has 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, living room, dining room, and eat-in kitchen plus a 2-car garage. Rent is $1200 per month, which is not bad.

Todd was sick the whole trip and is still sick. And, now...drum roll please...I am sick AGAIN!! I was so hoping to avoid getting sick again. I have the same symptoms - runny nose, slightly stuffy, itchy eyes, and low-grade fever. I am hitting it with all the herbs I have in hopes of keeping it from getting too bad. I think I may have to see Holly this week and get a few refills.

The latest....

Kate is feeling much better although still having nighttime breathing/coughing problems b/c her sinuses are draining. She was so happy when I picked her up from school today. Just really in a good mood - she was pleasant all night - brushed her teeth well and everything. It is so great to be with her when she is sweet and cooperates. She saw the dentist on Monday and she was very pleased - said we are doing a much better job brushing Kate's teeth. Todd said Kate didn't even cry this time. I still crack up when they suggest flossing - right! - like I am going to floss a toddler's teeth. Hell, I barely floss myself.

Todd is now sick - apparently he got what Kate had but much worse. This is the sickest he has been in a while...totally miserable. He is taking everything he can get his hands on - TheraFlu, some of my herbs, Tylenol, whatever...

My job has provided me with a laptop and supplies so I am all set to work remotely. Came home at lunch today and just didn't go back - worked from home this afternoon. Oh I love being at home in my shorts, working.

Penny, my Mary Kay director, has given me some names and numbers for directors in Tallahassee. I need to find someone I like and ask to be 'adopted' into her unit.

I am taking Friday off and Todd and I are traveling up to Tally to find a rental house. We have about six places lined up to look at between Friday afternoon and Saturday night. Some of them are really nice. We have seen some with new this and that plus 300 - 400 sq. feet bigger than our house right now and rents between $1000 and $1200. Also most houses up there have fireplaces and decks out back. I am really getting excited.

Kate

Kate was sick with something viral Thursday/Friday. She had three small "spots" that were itching her the day before she got the fever. There is good news here. One, it had been a month since she was last sick, which these days is huge. Two, she is feeling much better already. We immediately switched her to her "sick" herbs and extra doses at that. I am so excited about her early bounce-back.

She was so cute at bathtime tonight. She told Todd she was happy and he said why? She said "because I love you". How freakin' cute is that?

She has been staying in bed at night too. The sticker chart seems to be working. She has earned herself The Lion King DVD.

More news on the job front, etc.

Todd has a solid offer. He is on the phone with his new boss right now. I think we will like Tallahassee – Todd says it has rolling hills, less traffic, and one side of town to the other is about 30 mins. Of course, we’ve been here six years now and I finally have friends and places to go. It kind of sucks to start all over but it was bound to happen sometime soon. Pinellas county where we live is SO crowded and especially this time of year with all the tourists and snowbirds. I get really sick of all the people all the time. We are stepping all over each other here in Tampa Bay.

Todd may start work up there as soon as next week so I may have a bunch of time alone. My mom says she will come help but she can’t stay here for a month, nor would I want her to. If it weren’t for school, I would not be so worried. This semester is lots of work and I have to do school work every night, just to keep up. It is hard to do school work starting at 8 pm after all day of work and all evening with Kate. I plan on taking 2 classes again this summer so I can graduate May 2010. After graduation, I will sit for the CPA exam and hopefully qualify to sit for the CFE exam also. You need certain job experience for the CFE.

And, in addition to all this, we are trying for baby #2. I realize that may sound crazy but I am 37 and not getting any younger. I don’t want a baby at 40 and Kate really needs a sibling. I am ready to get on with it.

As soon as we move, we need to find a new preschool for Kate plus a weekend babysitter. It is nerve-wracking finding someone to care for your child. I worry about how Kate will adjust. She is so happy at New Horizons and really has a couple of classmates to whom she is close.

Todd has been speaking with a realtor and checking craigslist for houses to rent. Tallahassee is a college town plus part-time residents with the FL legislature. The rental market is a bit tight. I would prefer to not rent an apt and be living next door to some partying college kids.

I think Todd has a job...

I've been trying to find time to write for the last 3 days or so. Truthfully I don't have time - I should be in the shower right now, getting ready for work. School is keeping me super busy this semester. My e-commerce class has a insane amount of homework. The group of ladies I work with (b/c everything in this class is done in our group) are on assignment #4 together. Each "homework" assignment ends up a 20 to 30 page paper, every 2 weeks. It is brutal.

As for Todd, looks like the Tallahassee job is going to pan out. Salary-wise it is not quite what we hoped but otherwise looks good. And right now, we need a job - the horizon in the Tampa Bay area is rather bleak. I really don't want our house foreclosed on - would much rather short-sell and have the realtor do battle with our bank to get the unpaid balance written off. We've had about 5 showings so far on the house and it has been on the market for one week.

Will write more details later...

Update

Well, Todd has an "interview" for the job in Tallahassee. I put in quotes b/c it is not your average job interview. The owner of the business wants Todd to come and work with him for a week. At the end of the week, he will evaluate whether or not Todd is a good fit for the company and position. He says either way he will pay Todd for the week. It is unorthodox for sure but better than him offering Todd the job after a traditional interview and then finding out it is not a good fit (after we move all the way up there).

The whole thing is rather stressful, as I am sure you can imagine. It will hard on me to be "single" parent for a whole week...dropping Kate at school, going to work, picking her up, and then the whole evening routine alone. After all that I am usually exhausted but will still have school work to do. Plus weird for Todd sleeping alone in a hotel all week, wondering if he will get the job or maybe if he even wants the job.

Moving has pros and cons. Too many to list tonight - will cross that bridge if and when we come to it. The thought of getting out of the Tampa Bay (overcrowded) area is appealing but would definitely miss all the friends I've made here. Hate to pull Kate out mid-school year too - she just loves her teachers and friends. It is tough - love the people (mostly) but hate the area - too much stuff and too damn hot. We are really looking for a simpler life.

Other stuff - I am feeling much better and Kate is still well too. We are using a sticker chart to attempt to control her behavior at bath/bedtime. It is showing some success. Have a lot of school work between now and Sunday night - plus my crazy two weeks of the month start at work on Monday.

Oh Boy

Well life is crazy as usual. Up and down and all around! Our weekend away was fabulous but I started getting sick on Friday before we left. By the time we came home Sunday mid-day, I was feeling awful. Of course then I had to deal with my mom. She was ok but when you don't feel good and she just won't stop talking...ugh! We took Kate to the mall for new shoes. Grandma got her two pairs of shoes and 3 pairs of shorts. She also got us a new DVD player as ours died the day she got here. She went home yesterday.

I was feeling bad still yesterday so I worked from home - some. Kate and I had an appt with Doc Holly. I came home with 3 new herbs and a new formula of herbs for Kate. Kate has been well for about a week now and we are trying to keep her that way. I've been taking herbs like crazy since yesterday afternoon and I am feeling much better now. Some good sleep tonight and I hope to be good to go tomorrow.

Todd is still job hunting. No word on the last two jobs he applied for. We are probably going to put the house on the market soon and hope for a decent short-sell.

This week I need to get our taxes going and have a mid-term due for my tax class.

Kate, Todd, and me

Been busy as heck - actually went to my weekly Mary Kay meeting last night. It had been a month since I went to a meeting. I was really glad I went - I always leave feeling happy and positive. I am still selling product every week - I actually contributed $110 to our anniversary fund. We are going away this weekend, back to the B & B we went to for our 1st anniversary. My mom arrives tomorrow and she is going to stay with Kate Friday night thru Sunday afternoon so we can get away. It is very exciting - adult time!! Figure it might be our last hurrah before we go broke. He,he,he

Kate's health has improved. She has slept straight thru the night the last two nights in a row - very happy! No waking up coughing, or needing to pee, or "I got cold in bed." The other night when she was still rather congested and having trouble getting to sleep, she tells "Mommy, that is a very nice purple shirt you are wearing today." The kid cracks me up!

She got in big trouble yesterday with Daddy. An incident started over her socks at A Play Patch, an indoor play place near our house. When she wouldn't cooperate, Todd said "we're leaving." She freaked out and started hitting him, in the face, no less. For this offense she lost all 3 of her favorite ponies until Wed. Her teachers at school tell us how well-behaved and wonderful she is. I don't understand why Todd and I can't get the same manners at home.

Todd applied to two jobs yesterday - one in Tampa and one in Tallahassee. Tallahassee is about a five hour drive from here. We checked it out online - it looks like a nice place to live. The weather is not quite as hot since it is north FL plus it is right near a huge national park, which Todd likes.

Things are looking up for me too, at my job. Been having some issues with my officemate. Turns out my boss is more aware than I thought and plans on addressing it this week. I am also due for my 90 day review this week - not sure if I get a raise or not. It would be nice but I am not counting on it.

Frustrated!

Kate is sick again!!! I could just shoot myself. We have her on the herbal remedy plus a probiotic to help get her defenses up again. The last cold seemed to not last as long and last week she was definitely better. Now this morning it was runny nose and tonight a fever of 101. I feel like the worst mother in the world. What have I done to my child that she is so sick all the time? It is just not right. I love my job but I feel maybe preschool is what is causing all this. We are tossing around the idea of taking her out of school while Todd is not working. It would save us $612 per month plus maybe she would get better. One child in her class, Ty, has a permanent runny nose. I feel she just doesn't have a chance to ever really get better.

My mother, of course, wants to know what is wrong that Kate is sick all the time. She constantly reminds me how I was never sick as a child. Of course, she stayed home with me until I was seven and I didn't go to school until age 4 in Kindergarten but still. What is going on that today's children are so sick all the time? Something is not right.

Maybe Kate feels all the stress in our house from the lack of funds/Todd without a job. I really try to put on a happy face but Todd is very moody these days and constantly worried about what is going to happen to us. I understand, in a way, but worrying about the future doesn't help you solve today's problems.

Todd has been job hunting like crazy. He is working every contact he has and applying to jobs all over the country. Of course, that would be its own problem. We have negative equity in the house so we would have to short-sell, if we could sell at all. Even if we skip our mortgage payment, I don't make enough to cover all the other bills and expenses.

I just don't know what to do. I feel helpless - I can't make my child better and I can't find my husband a job.

What's going on?

Every night I think about posting but every night I am tired and more importantly tired of the computer. I wonder what people did for communication before the Internet. Computers have been available to me my entire adult life. I live my whole life on a computer. I do my banking, talk to friends and relatives, go to school, and do my job - all online. I love the convenience but sometimes curse the electric "handcuffs". And, believe it or not, I am seriously considering getting a Blackberry b/c apparently I need to be even more connected than I am now. :)

I spent a good part of yesterday on the computer, compiling all our data for our taxes. I have expenses to categorize and we have our info in two places b/c we switched checking software mid-year - Yuck! I have downloads of credit cards and spreadsheets galore.

Different topic - we went shoe shopping for Kate yesterday. This last week it became apparent she really needed new shoes b/c her old ones were too small. Big moment - we have moved to the other side of Stride Rite b/c she now needs a size 9 shoe! Holy Cow! I couldn't believe it. We have a pair of 7 1/2 shoes that we bought in August and now she needs a 9. Of course we measured her the other day and she is now 38" and 32 lbs and mostly wearing a 4T. When Grandma visits in 2 weeks, we are going to have her buy another pair of shoes for Kate. Plus by next month Kate will need summer sandals too.

Spring semester is in full swing - so far, so good. Turned in our 1st group assignment tonight.

See Doc Holly again tomorrow - will post another health update in a few days.

Oh, and, my 20th high school reunion is this year. Just got an email regarding what we prefer for dates, etc. Plan to go - should be in Cincy in the fall.

Health update

Saw Doc Holly again on Monday. We spent two hours with her, going over my options, checking my symptoms, and talking about remedies and diet. Unfortunately, I can't start my regular regiment yet b/c I have a head cold (same as Kate) and she wanted to treat my acute symptoms first before giving me other things. She sent me home with two Chinese herbal formulas and told me to buy Super 8 Probiotic at the health food store. We also talked about Kate and her frequent colds. For Kate, Holly gave us a child's herbal called Windbreaker. It is a liquid - we are dosing her 4x a day. Plus she said to get a probiotic for Kate also.

For diet recommendations, for both Kate and myself, she said to cut WAY BACK on sugar and get all the antibiotics out of our diet, ie. eat only organic meats and dairy. She told us to really read labels and look at how many grams of sugar various things have in them. She told us yogurt with added fruit is as bad as ice cream and suggested we feed Kate plain yogurt sweetened with applesauce instead. Also, she would like us to get juice out of Kate's diet. She gets it at school, so not much we can do there, but we can cut way back at home.

For me, she suggested lots of fresh vegetables and less fruit and less dairy. Plus of course all really bad sugar like cookies or Coke must go.

After less than 48 hours of dosing myself with the herbs for my cold, I started to feel better. Kate has not gotten as sick as she usually does. There has been no nighttime coughing, which she usually gets with these colds.

I am very excited about going forward. I see Holly again next Wed the 4th - will get a 3rd accupunture treatment and hopefully be ready for some other herbs.

Kate

I have a couple of recent things I need to share about Kate. She is so sweet. The other day I was playing with her in her room and said my feet were cold and I needed my slippers. She jumps up and says, "I will get your slippers." and runs off to my bedroom to get mommy's slippers. How cute! She loves to help. She will spray and wipe off the glass tables - love to Windex. She will help me put laundry in the machine and/or in dryer.

Then the funny one. This morning we had breakfast at First Watch. She ate a ton. As we were finishing, she says, "I need to pee-pee." So off we go to the bathroom. I actually thought she might need to poop - she had a funny look on her face. I get her on the toilet seat, she pees, I start to wipe, and then she says, "I need to poopy." So I back away, and she scrunches up her face, and says, "I am trying to push it out; it won't come." It was very funny b/c she said it quite loudly and had this funny look on her face. She did manage to poop. I think she was forcing it b/c her tummy was SO full.

This afternoon we had Caroline, one of Kate's sitters, come over. When we got home, Caroline wasn't sure if Kate had napped or not. Caroline says Kate was quiet in her room for at least an hour and half. If she wasn't asleep I don't know what she was doing. We tried asking Kate but first she told Caroline she did not sleep and then she told us she did take a nap. We aren't sure what to believe. Kate's teachers did mention to Todd the other day that Kate has been "making up" a few stories lately.

Yesterday we had Chick-fil-a and Kate loves their lemonade. After nap the big cup of unfinished lemonade was on the table. She had some but then we told her no more. Then she goes over and gets the lemonade again - when Todd questions her, since we just told her "no", she says, "Mommy wants some. I'm taking it to her." She did bring it to me (even though I did not ask) but of course took another drink before she gave it to me. I'm not sure what to think.

Scheduling

My biggest challenge is fitting it all in. Here are all the things I need to get done - my job (obviously); school work (reading, writing papers, etc.); exercising; keep up with my Mary Kay customer service; plus housework. All of this and of course I need to spend time with Kate and Todd. Kate has been telling Todd, "I miss mommy."quite a lot lately. Tonight I went to the Y to work-out. When I got home, it was bedtime and I got to read her one book. She tells me, "I missed you during lotion." What she means is lotion and jammies - this is usually my part of our bedtime routine. After bath and brushing teeth with Todd, she gets thoroughly lotioned by me and then pjs before short playtime and book.

I've had a few ideas to manage my time - need the discipline to make it work out. I think I am going to start picking Kate up from preschool every day. If I get to work a half-hour earlier, leave at 4:30, and go get Kate, we can spend 5 to 6:30 together before I leave to work-out or go to the office to study. I think that is the most practical option. Will give it a try.

the new doctor

Today I went for my first visit to Dr. Holly. She is not a MD but a DOM, Doctor of Oriental Medicine. She takes a holistic, non-drug approach to health issues. She treats with herbal remedies and acupuncture plus diet modifications when necessary. The visit was 2 hours - it was amazing. I've never had a MD ask so many questions or take such a thorough medical history. She really probes and asks follow up questions. She took tons of notes.

Thankfully she says my case seems fairly cut and dry. My symptoms all point towards two main issues - Candida and liver/gallbladder dysfunction. She feels with some herbal treatments, acupuncture if I want to continue, and small changes to my diet, she can bring me relief from my headaches, neck pain, and sinus issues. I am very excited about the possibility of a pain-free life.

It is hard to describe how my life is with almost constant pain. To wake up in the morning with a headache, or sore throat, or sinuses that feel like they are being pounded, does not make for a great start to your day. It affects my mood and my ability to work efficiently.

In the state of FL, she qualifies as a primary care physician, so I am hopeful some of the cost will be covered by my health insurance. I would like her to see Kate, and eventually Todd, too. She has patients of all ages and with all types of conditions she helps with.

One thing she told me that was very interesting is the deal with antibiotics. I don't take them often and Kate has had them only 3 times but apparently that is too much. Because antibiotics kill off everything - bad bacteria and good bacteria - it actually makes you more susceptible to more illness. It can become a vicious cycle of sick, drugs, sick, drugs.

I go back to see her on the 26th. Between now and then, she asked me to monitor my sugar and dairy intake. She also, for Kate's sake, suggested we go back to hormone-free (organic) cheese and meats. I know they are more expensive but it is important so we will find a way.

Just a moment

Have just a moment to write. I mean to do it in the evenings but I have other things to do and by the end of the day, I am tired of the computer. Todd says I am addicted but all my life is on a computer. My friends email, my customers email, and all our financial stuff is online too.

Different topic - Kate on the phone. The other night I was talking to my mom and Kate was getting ready for bed. I offered the phone so she could talk to Grandma. Without any prompting from me she says, "Hello Grandma. I miss you." How cute is that? My mom is coming to visit next month so we will put it on Kate's calendar when February starts so she can count down the days.

Monday and Tuesday were headache free days. First ones in a while. This Saturday I am seeing a new doctor - a doctor of oriental medicine. She treats with herbs and natural remedies, no drugs. Really hoping she can help with all my aches and pains.

Time to shower - gotta get to work.

Hello, hello, hello

Kate is still having going-to-bed issues. We have tried every tactic - not sure what to do. She sure does say some funny things though. Tonight she told us "I'm a pizza." I said "what kind of pizza"? She says "pepperoni and extra cheese". At other times, she is a dolphin, dentist, or Miss Ella, the children's librarian at our local library. Sometimes I wish I could capture all the funny or cute things she says on tape. Todd is teaching her the song "Me and Mrs. Jones" - apparently they heard it in the car. To hear Kate sing is so funny - she really tries to sound like the person singing.

Today when Todd picked her up from school, she tells him "I cried a yittle(little) bit today." I asked her why, she says "I missed my mommy and daddy". Later on she adds to the story and tells me "I cried in the bathroom". She has a hard time with "L"s - they sound like 'y'. It is getting better - we have been working with her.

Work is going ok - Todd is looking hard for a job.

Happy New Year!

Just read Becca's post - it is true. I am thankful for all we have. Even though Todd is unemployed, I have a job and we are all healthy. Kate is a happy child and likes her preschool.

Can't believe another year has gone by - Todd and I will celebrate seven years of marriage in Feb. Wow - were does the time go?

Picture is Kate and I at Dinosaur World today. We had fun - she seemed to enjoy it.

Gotta run - going to work tomorrow.