No sleep again...

Well unfortunately we only had the one really successful night. After that it was back to the issues. Last night it took her an hour to go to sleep and Todd sat with her the whole time. Tonight was the topper - she just fell asleep about 15 mins ago at 9:45 pm!! We first put her in bed at 7:30 pm. We don't know what the deal is but I am starting to think there is something really wrong with Kate. We've never had sleep issues this bad, for this long, ever before. Tonight I even tried letting her play by herself with the little light on. I just told her not to leave her room - that didn't work either. I can understand she wants one of us to be in there but that is not getting her to sleep either. She tosses and turns and kicks the covers off repeatedly.

Her school has said she naps about an hour and half on average while at school and I know she is very active while she is there. So lack of sleep and lack of activity, which can sometimes cause bedtime issues, are not the problem. We've been in the new house for a month now and the sleep issues have gotten worse, not better, so the moving thing doesn't seem to be the problem. I have noticed some comments from her lately that seem to show more understanding on her part that Palm Harbor is gone and we don't live there anymore.

We really miss her old preschool, New Horizons. The children were nicer and Kate was loved by all her classmates. When we dropped her off in the morning, the other kids would smother her with affection. They were always excited to see Kate. At her new school, sometimes the other little girls tell her to "get away" and "leave me alone". I think it hurts her feelings. The other day one little boy hit her in the face with a plastic toy (he was talked to) and it left a bruise and scratch on her face. Kate's current preschool was recommended by another preschool director as one of the best in Tallahassee. It seems like the teachers try but for whatever reason some of the children in Kate's class are very bratty. Not sure if there is anything really we can do right now.

Sleep success!!

After many frustrating nights (see earlier blogs), we finally had a successful bedtime last night. WooHOO!! It was Todd's suggestion that we shorten her nap. He truly felt she was just not tired at bedtime. She will be three in less than a month so I thought a shorter nap might work too. So yesterday (Sunday) we only let her nap about an hour and 15 mins, instead of her usual 2 hour nap. She went to bed at 7:30 pm, only got out of bed once, and 'viola' she was asleep at 7:45 pm. Even better, she only got up once last night and slept until 6:45 this morning. Yah!! This morning Todd is going to talk to her preschool about shorten her nap at school b/c they sleep for two hours during the day. I hope they can accommodate us. The school seems pretty flexible.

Going back home

As you know, our family has been through some difficult times as of late. We uprooted our family and moved to Tallahassee to start over, only for Todd's new job to come to a dead-end. Unfortunately our enlightenment came after we moved up here, instead of before. We've now made two decisions: (1) We are never moving to take a job again and (2) We are tired of relocating and starting over so we are going home to Cincy to put down our own family roots. I told Todd and he agreed that before Kate was ready to start kindergarden we had to be settled. I am not uprooting her to move across the state or country every five years when one of us takes a new job. We've made a decision to make OH/KY work no matter what. Jobs come and go but family is forever.

The area is nice - I have lots of family there plus a couple of friends from high school. I know I will enjoy four regular seasons again. I can't wait to see Kate and her first snow! The near-by Smokey Mts will be great for family vacations. We can even drive to our Luna family reunion in MI, instead of flying.

I've thought several times over the past years about moving back but could never take that leap of faith. I was scared to move with no job and then what? I was raised to believe that an income, no matter how crappy the job, was paramount and to be without a job was unthinkable. My parents were totally unconcerned with being happy with their work. It was a paycheck and that is what mattered. Not for me to live like that anymore - life is too short to spend it doing something you dislike. Can't wait until I finish my master's so I can go forth and get my dream job.

In light of these "revelations", we have decided to do some other things we've discussed in the past but never implemented. We are simplifying. For starters, we are selling one of our cars. Right now we just don't need two cars, especially since I work at home and Todd is not working at all (and might end up working from home also). This will rid us of one car payment, the insurance on that car, and net us some additional money to live off until Todd has a new job. Another car can always be bought, if needed. Also, we are selling our huge entertainment center and our loveseat couch. Both are much too heavy to bother bring with us to Cincy and the loveseat was from our pre-Kate days. It is not really a family piece. These are all just 'things' and not really important to our overall goal.

Continuing Bedtime issues

We are trying a new tactic. No helping her get to sleep at all. We realized over the last six months, b/c she was sick so often, we had been doing all sorts of things to help her sleep: rubbing her back; rocking her; sitting on the floor by her bed. I swear to you this child used to go to sleep with no issues. So far things are going very poorly. Last night Todd sat outside her door and she was up and down until 9:30 pm!! And then she was up at 5:50 am this morning. Tonight was my turn to sit outside her door. About 5 mins ago Todd came and relieved me of duty b/c I was threatening to spank her, among other things. It is so awful!! She is not just up and down out of bed, but yells at us to not touch her, leave her alone, pushes us away, etc. You can't put her back in bed unless you force her to lay down. She laughs in your face. She seems to think this is all a big game. Tonight I especially do not understand as she should be exhausted from way too little sleep last night.

I don't know who this child is. Ever since the new preschool she talks back and yells at us. Now all these bedtime issues. This is crazy. I have things to do at night, like school work. I can't sit outside her door for an hour or more, trying to get her to stay in bed. And I refuse to lay down with her or rub her back for 30 mins until she falls asleep - and that is not a guarantee either. She is almost 3 - we should be past this stage.

I am going to go completely crazy if we don't get this problem fixed and quick! Any ideas?

So frustrated with bedtime

I am at my wits' end with Kate and bedtime. I put lights out at 7:20 pm - a little earlier than usual b/c she seemed tired - and here we are at 8 pm and she is still awake and getting up and down out of bed. NOTHING works on this child. I took away her favorite toy, 3 ponies, and her bicycle privileges tomorrow. She doesn't care! I even spanked her butt - something I swore I would never do. She doesn't like it but it didn't keep her in bed. She got right back up. Todd is now sitting in her room to make sure she doesn't get up and he will have to stay until she falls asleep. She was up at 6 am this morning and yesterday morning too. She should be plenty tired. I just want to scream!!!!! And, now with this Jack in the bed syndrome tonight she will either be up in the middle of the night and/or up at 5:15 am tomorrow. I can't live like this! I swear I've tried all the 'solutions' in all the books I've read. Nothing is working. I did everything right, right from the beginning. She was always on a schedule, naps and all. She slept straight thru the night from 9 months on and was a fabulous sleeper until the last 6 months or so. The books said follow a routine - same all the time, teach them to put themselves to sleep, etc. - I did all that. What is wrong?

Saturday - how nice!

Well this morning I ditched my online class (no biggie 'cause I can watch it later) and we took Kate to the Brogan Museum in downtown. It is similar to MOSI in Tampa but not as far away and not nearly as expensive. She had a great time and then we spread a blanket in some green space in front of the museum and had a picnic lunch. She just loves to eat outside! Then we all play "It" for about 15 mins. Then it was time to go home for a nap for Kate and real lunch for mom and dad. She was very well behaved the whole time and even this morning before we left the house. She only yelled at me twice and both times I took Alex (her favorite toy) away for 15 mins. It definitely seemed to work - no more yelling after that.

Supposed to be in the shower right now....

Like every day of my life now, I am supposed to be doing something other than what I am doing. This is b/c I have a ten things each day that need to get done but really only time for about five of them so I am constantly trying to squeeze in activities I want to do (like blog) but don't really have time for. I am supposed to be on a strict schedule in the morning. When Todd leaves to take Kate to preschool, I am supposed to shower and get dressed so I can start my work day at 8:30 am. This is the up and down side to working from home - flexibility and flexibility. It is nice that I can take a quick break while working to drop in a load of laundry but I have to be careful to not do too much of house stuff b/c then my paid work is not getting done. Still not entirely sure I like working from home. There is definitely something to be said for going into an office.

Kate this morning, and most mornings, is getting more difficult to deal with. I keep waiting for this "it gets easier bullsh**" that I keep hearing from moms with older children. When might that be? This morning, just trying to get 2 barrettes in her hair (which insisted she have today), was a 10 min ordeal. She could not decide what color(s) she wanted and kept insisting on 3 or more barrettes. I kept saying she could have 2 and that she only needed two. Oh Lord! And, she says "I'll go ask Daddy" and he tells her she can have 3 barrettes - What? Where am I going to put 3 barrettes at? Finally got her out the door for school with two barrettes in her hair. If it isn't barrettes, it is something else - clothes, shoes, food, drink. She HAS to have this or won't do THAT. Ugh! Also, moms with older children tell you to enjoy this stage - "you will miss these days when she is older" - really? I think they have a faulty memory. I look forward to the day when I can reason with my child and she really understands, even if she doesn't like it.

More changes...

Todd's new job is no more - it was not working out. Without going into great detail, let's just say the owner turned out to be a real ass. Just one example: On Todd's third day of work, the owner says, "by the way, it really pissed me off that you took a lunch on Monday". Monday was his first day on the job. I think that tells you what kind of person he was dealing with.

So, Todd has an opportunity to start his own business, working with former co-workers from AutoMart. He would be putting together a book, doing graphic art work from home. We will need to invest in some special software but other than that, it should be a fairly easy start up.

As for me, I had a large school assignment due yesterday and I managed to get it done. It was not my best work but I don't care anymore. The semester is almost over and I am tired. I've written more crap this semester than when I took "writing" classes. It has been ridiculous. At this point, I figure A or B doesn't really matter. When I go to look for a job with my new CPA license, they are not going to ask my GPA.

I just talked to my mom. On her way home from Tallahassee to Cincy, she experienced what I like to think of as Karma. Her flight from Tally to Atlanta was late getting in and she missed her connecting flight. Then apparently bad weather set in and Delta was grounding all flights til further notice. Turns out Mom didn't get home to Cincy til 3 am - woops. She spent hours in the Altanta airport and was starving. She made Delta give her a voucher for food even though she had 2 credit cards on her. She thought she couldn't use credit cards at Burger King at the airport. Personally I don't think she wanted to ....she doesn't like to use credit cards for much of anything. She is paranoid about fraud.

Feeling sad...

I just realized something, looking around our half painted rental house. Since the age of 16, I've not lived in the same place for more than two years, with one exception, which was my first apartment in Cinti before I moved to Houston. It makes me sad. I am 37 years old and still don't have a home. I mean, my family is 'home' but I would like stability. Todd and I have talked and we agree that this must stop. We have to find a place we want to stay and make it work - no more moving around to take this job and that.

I am tired of emailing all my friends b/c no one lives near me to go for coffee or get dinner. I finally got friends and playmates for Kate in Palm Harbor and then we left. I miss my friends in Palm Harbor and going to the office. I am tired of moving new places and leaving people behind and feeling isolated for a year or more until I get to know some people.

Todd's new job is not working out so good. We are not sure what to do. I can't stand for him to be unhappy and stressed out everyday - it makes me and Kate unhappy too. I want a happy family.

My mother - Ugh!

As I think you know my mom is here, supposedly to help out with Kate, etc. Truthfully she is not much help and sometimes is more of a pain. The whole time she has been here, she has put Kate to bed twice and both were fairly forced on her by us. She has unrealistic expectations of what kind of self-control a two year old has. Mom doesn't want to brush Kate's teeth b/c "I won't fight with her" - Hello? She is 2 - of course she doesn't like having her teeth brushed and is going to protest. She protests to some degree every night - Todd just makes her do it anyway. That is what you do with toddlers - make them do things that are good for them. They are too young to understand consequences - that is why there are parents. It is our job to make them do the right thing, even if you have to force it a bit sometimes. Can't just let her run around eating nothing but cookies and never brushing her teeth, just b/c she complains about it.

In the car today, Kate says "Grandma" and my mom ignores her. She wants the child to have manners, and for 2 yrs old her manners are quite good, but yet she rudely ignores Kate when Kate is trying to talk to her. I said "mom, Kate is calling you" and Mom says "well, she should just say what it is she wants". And another statement to the effect of "she doesn't really have anything to tell me, she is just saying my name to get attention". Hello??? Once again, she is only two and maybe she just wants Grandma's attention on her for a few minutes. My mom routinely ignores Kate - it is very annoying to Todd and I. Mom will complain b/c she says I stop listening to her to talk to Kate. Well, first of all Kate will "mama" about a hundred times in a row if you don't answer her and my mom will also keep talking - do you have an idea how horrible that is? Makes me want to run screaming from the room. We are working on Kate waiting her turn to talk but that is skill for slightly older children. Also, my mom NEVER shuts up. You have to interrupt her to get a word in. Todd took her and Kate to the park and grocery store - by the time they got home over two hours later, he wanted to shoot himself.

Then the kicker tonight at dinner. Kate wanted a piece of bread b/c she saw Todd with some and the kid loves bread. We told her to eat her broccoli and then she could have some bread. She eats 80% of her broccoli and asks for bread again. I say ok and tell Todd to give her a 1/4 of a slice. Mom gets this disapproving look, shakes her head, and says "she sure does eat a lot of carbs. I'm surprised she's not fat." What the F***? Seriously, she is two and growing like a weed. And does she have to say this in front of Kate - does Mom think that Kate can't hear? Today Kate had a fruit smoothie and toast; Cheerios in the car with some raisins; 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich (wheat bread and organic cheese) with carrot sticks; 2 Pretzel sticks from Auntie Ann's at the mall; chicken and broccoli for dinner. Does this sound like the diet of a child who eats poorly? Geez, I know people who feed their children Pop Tarts and cheese puffs.

Ok, I think I can sleep now. Had to get that all out. I can't wait until she leaves!

One week later...

The house is clean - well mostly - the floors are rather a mess b/c it has rained a ton and we've had lots of people in and out. We are seeing dead or half-dead roaches everywhere since the bug man came on Thursday. I know we will need additional treatments.

We went to our first social event today. It was so nice to do something normal. One of Kate's schoolmates had an Easter party - well his parents did. We went out to their house with a bunch of other people. Made a connection with a couple of moms - am looking to get recommendations for doctors, dentist, etc. We are going to need a babysitter too - very important! Todd gave Kate a cupcake with all the frosting on it at the party - Good Lord - her behavior since has been not so good. I couldn't believe he didn't know to take the frosting off.

I have a paper due for school tomorrow - not sure how I am going to pull that off.